Love You Forever

Dear Jack,

There is this book, called Love You Forever which I always found a little creepy. It's about a mother who would sneak into her son's room and rock him in his sleep singing this song "I love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

What's creepy about that? Well, in the book, she continues to sneak into his bedroom as he is a school aged-boy, and then is in high school, then college, and then on his own. Creepy.

Having a son, though, I now understand some of the sentiment.

Will it ever be anything but pure joy, seeing you asleep?

I will love you forever. I will like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.

But I will never sneak into your dorm room to rock you.

Love,
Mom

Beandip Bear

Dear Jack,

Back when I was in high school, your Aunt Dani and Uncle Mark bought me a big teddy bear for my birthday. My initials back then, if you called me "Becky" as they do, were "B.W." and apparently, there was a brand of beandip that Uncle Mark liked called "B.W. Beandip."

And that's how the bear got his name.

Beandip Bear has gone many places. He went with me to college and hung out in my dorm room. In the summer that I stayed with my Mema, he lived with her, too. He was with me in my first apartment and has had his adventures documented in a small book I made once.

Today, though, he went on his first adventure with you to your school for the Teddy Bear Picnic.

First of many adventures, I think.

Love,
Mom

Jack - The Sequel to the Blog Post

Dear Jack,

I have written many times before about the joy of all things "Jack" and how I have enjoyed Jack - the mural and Jack - the coffee mug.

My latest project was Jack - the tote bag.

It started as an ordinary tote bag -- 50% off this week only at Hobby Lobby.

I then added Jack's beanstalk and the hill for Jack and Jill using green felt.

From there, it was just a matter of doing the detail work with other colors of felt. I made Jack and Jill's well.

Then I made a picnic which included flapjacks, a candlestick for Jack to jump over, and a Christmas pie for Jack to stick his thumb in (and pull out that plum).

Finally, because my editorial eye wouldn't let me crowd the front with it, but it is a favorite part of the scene for me, I put the house that Jack built on the back of the bag.

I was really pleased with the finished product.

But I do want to take a minute and mention our front porch fairy. A while back, my friend Jerri dropped off hats and other random things on to our front porch. Among the random things was a bag filled with felt, which is how I had all of the felt I needed to do this project. It was also how I had felt to make your sister's Super Chick mask. The front porch fairy also dropped off a basket of hot wheels right before Christmas, which your daddy found when he was home with you sick. Those hot wheels entertained you for hours, letting your daddy work.

I was going to say that not every little boy has a front porch fairy that leaves him cool presents, but then I thought of amazon.com and the parade of boxes that are also on the front porch some days. I guess the front porch is just that kind of magical place -- you never know what will be there and what you make with what you find.

Love,
Mom

Zoe Elisabeth

Dear Jack,

I went this last weekend to see Uncle Dave and Aunt Suzanne's baby, your little cousin Zoe. And I do mean little.

When I compare this picture of me and Zoe to a picture of you at the same age, it looks like I have gained a lot of weight.

It's not me, I swear. It's the baby.

Zoe was (I think) about 5 pounds 4 ounces when she was born and around 18 inches long. You, on the other hand, were 9 pounds 4 ounces and 22 inches long.

When we were in Houston the previous weekend, I was so sad that I couldn't go see Zoe since the family was just getting through a stomach virus. Your Aunt Suzanne pointed out that Zoe wasn't going anywhere and I could see her another time.

"But she won't be tiny!" I protested.

"Actually she will," said your aunt.

And I realized it was true. Zoe will probably not be your birth weight for some time. It was a funny thought, but I still wanted to get to see her while she was that tiny, if for no other reason than I never got to hold you or your sister in my arms at that small of a size.

Holding Zoe brought me back to your newborn days and now I can't wait for you to meet her, although I think we will wait until she's a little bigger -- like maybe around nine pounds.

Love,
Mom

Nolen Men Cook

Dear Jack,

One of the most adorable things you have started doing involves cooking with your dad. You see, your sister is always sliding a chair from the dining room into the kitchen, calling it her "helping chair" and using it to stand on so that she can help your dad in the kitchen.

You thought this looked like a lot of fun and about two weeks ago, started bringing in a helping chair of your own every time your dad put a pot the stove, or you saw vegetables on the counter, or smelled broth boiling, or saw bags of flour and sugar, or heard the sound of my espresso maker. You so want to cook like your daddy and sister.

So tonight you helped your dad make cornbread muffins.

The steps for this recipe are as follows:

1. Assume helping position - standing on helping chair, wearing apron; Observe dad's methods.

2. Add more honey.

3. Stir. Whisk optional.

4. Play with measuring cups.*

5. Spoon batter into muffin cups.

I was so pleased to eat dinner that my son had helped make for me. Thanks, sweet boy.

Love,
Mom




*Is this the coolest measuring cup ever? It's a matryoshka or Russian nesting doll. Perfect for your dry goods, interesting decor in the kitchen or the toddler who wants to play while you cook. Best part, they have them on amazon. I think I can feel Summer ordering a set right now.

Mama's Taking Us to the Zoo (Today)

Dear Jack,

Today we went to the zoo.

We do that a lot, your sister and I.

My Uncle Fritz was reminding me last night of all the times he took me and my sister and cousins to the zoo. I don't remember him being with me, but I know he must have because he knew that the hippopotamuses were my favorite. That's what I remember about the zoo... the three hippos, mama and daddy and baby. It's my zoo memory.

What will yours be?

Will it be the people we go with? We have been with your grandpa and Nana a lot. Gram was with us last time. The Gonzalez's have gone with us a lot in the past. We've met up with Aunt Serita a couple of times, once before you were born and once after. Today we went with the Hazens.

Will you be like your sister and more taken with the scenery, the pools of water and the waterfall, than the actual animals?

Or did the lion make an impression on you today?

Or will it continue to be, as it was again today, the fish?

It's one of the oddest things about being a mother... building memories, I mean. I do all of these things to make memories with you and I won't know until you are a young man whether or not you took from any of it what I thought you would, or if it stuck with you at all.

After all, your take away from the day could have been, "And she made me wear the owl hat ALL DAY LONG."

Love,
Mom

Grandma's 60th Birthday

Dear Jack,

Today was your grandmother's 60th birthday. Two days ago we went to her birthday party. Thinking about my mother turning sixty makes me want to stop and share some things with you. It's funny, but you wind up creating a biography of your parents based on snippets of remembered conversations over several decades. I don't know that I have all of the facts right, but I know it's who she is in my mind.

***

On January 10, 1951, Kitty Murray Frazer was born. In those days, mothers were given drugs that knocked them out during delivery, so it was possible to go into the hospital not knowing whether you were having a boy or a girl and then pass out from the medication, wake up later, with the baby whisked away to the nursery and still not know if you had a son or a daughter. Kitty's daddy, Jim Frazer, thinking of this, told his wife Nora that if the baby were a son, he would put roses in the room. If the baby were a daughter, he would put daisies. When Nora came to, she saw roses in the hospital room. She thought she had a son, but then Jim came in and sheepishly admitted that they had indeed had a daughter, but that upon reflection, he thought that all mothers deserved roses.

(Granddaddy holding my mother when she was a baby. I always assumed she was a newborn in the picture, but on the back, in Mema's handwriting was the notation that my mother was 6 weeks. I now suppose that it took that long for my granddaddy to be certain he wouldn't drop her.)

During her childhood, Kitty was often called "Mother's Right Arm." She helped to take care of her younger brother and sister, especially after school while Nora was working. Possibly because she was so much bigger than her siblings or possibly because Kitty was the responsible older sister, Nora often referred to the three children as "Kitty and the kids," a moniker which Kitty resented.

(Kitty and Jennie -- around 1969. As you can see, my mother is only as much larger than her sister than the four year age gap would suggest she should be. The real trouble, and I'm sorry I couldn't find the picture that best illustrates it, is that my uncle Jimmy, who is in between the girls in age, was always more or less the same size as his younger sister, a fact which I'm sure troubled him as much if not more than it irked my mother to be part of "Kitty and the kids.")

At South Houston High School, Kitty met Douglas Wilson whom she dated and went with to their senior prom. After graduation, Douglas stayed in Houston and Kitty went to St. Mary's University in San Antonio. During college, Kitty lived with her father's mother, whom she grew very close to during those four years.

(1973, I think. It is one of the most beautiful pictures of my mother. I makes me want to say, "Wasn't she a Betty?")

After college, Kitty moved back to the Houston area and took a teaching position at her alma mater, South Houston High School. She and Douglas rekindled their relationship and soon married. Douglas was in the Air Force by this time, stationed in North Korea. After he completed his service, they decided to start a family. During these early years in their marriage, Kitty and Douglas spent a lot of time with Douglas's two best friends, Nick and Don. Don and his wife, Marcy and Kitty and Douglas completed a course called "Marriage Encounter" together, which further cemented Kitty's bond with Marcy.

(1975? Sadly, I don't even know what year my parents were married, much less the month of their anniversary, but I think this picture was taken for a church directory soon after they were married. I would also like to point out that the 70's were kinder to my parents than most.)

In 1977, their first daughter, Rebecca Cathleen was born. In that same year, Kitty's father Jim died from complications from Type 2 diabetes. Four years later, in 1981, her youngest daughter, Jennifer Christine was born. Kitty continued to teach chemistry at South Houston High School, until her retirement in 2008.

One of my favorite pictures of me and mom. I think this was 1980 and Mom was going to the prom to chaperon. I can't tell if I'm wearing a night gown or a dress. If it's a night gown, I wonder why my hair was all done. Mostly, though, I wish I knew what had happened to the dress my mother was wearing... take that collar off and it would be super chic.

Kitty's closest friend throughout her adult life has been her sister, Jennie. For almost all of the 80's and 90's, Jennie and Kitty lived about five miles from each other. Within that same area, their mother Nora still lived in the home the girls grew up in and for much of that time, their brother Jimmy also lived in the same neighborhood. Having so much family in such close proximity made it easy to hold family gatherings and many weekends, Kitty and Jennie would have each other's family over for the evening. The adults would play a domino game called 42 and the children would play in the bedrooms. Christmas Eve was always at Nora's house and even once Jimmy moved out to East Texas, he and his children would make it back home for the family Christmas.

Me and my sister and the oldest three Langs -- the only three Langs at the time -- gathered around the kitchen table dying Easter eggs circa 1985 (well, only if you believe the calendar on the wall behind me). So many things I could point out... the TV on the kitchen table, the probably illegal cable box, the kitchen chairs that are so eerily similar to the ones in my current dinning room...

At school, Kitty made many lifelong friends of her fellow teachers, especially those in the science department. Many of the teachers played a game called Bunco in which 12 ladies would gather at one person's home to play a simple dice game and enjoy each other's company. Other than her sister and Marcy, Kitty's closest friends have been her Bunco friends.

Really the only face you can see in the picture is Mom and JoAnn Stringer, but that's Carol Weston in the pink, Marsha Bagley in the black, and across from Carol is Debbie McNabb -- which I know only because I have another picture from the same day that shows all of the other ladies, but has mom's back to the camera.

At church, Kitty played bells with the bell choir and helped in the church nursery. Always attracted to babies, Kitty enjoyed the chance to sit and rock the littlest members of the congregation.

In 1996, Kitty's husband, Douglas passed away. At that time, Rebecca was in college and Jennifer in high school. Becoming a widow at a relatively young age could not have been easy, but Kitty's mother and both of her grandmothers had walked the same road ahead of her and must have provided the examples Kitty needed to know how to live life without the constant companionship of a spouse.

In 2000, Kitty became a grandmother for the first time as Jennifer gave birth to a son, David. In 2002, Kitty's mother, Nora passed away. In 2003, Jennifer's daughter Alana was born. Jennifer and her husband and children chose to set up house with Kitty so that all three generations could benefit from each other.

Kitty's other grandchildren, Sydney and Jack came along in 2006 and 2009 (respectively).

2008 -- Mom's retirement party

Although retired, Kitty stays busy running what she calls a taxi service for David and Alana. She also keeps score for South Houston's basketball teams, works the church nursery, plays in multiple handbell choirs, keeps up with her Bunco group (although they have dwindled in number and now play cards since they cannot muster the requisite 12 to play Bunco), makes monthly dates with her old friend Marcy (though neither of them would appreciate being called old) and drives across town to see her sister who although no longer across the highway, is still an important part of her life.

Mom and the grandkids

Oh, and she also tries to make semi-annual drives to Georgetown, to see her other favorite grandchildren (and their mother, too).

***

There, a somewhat abbreviated biography. Like I said, some of the dates may be wrong, and I swear I have a picture of my parents in prom clothes, another of them on their wedding day, and stories from both of people they dated in college, so the entire "how my parents met" story is muddled in my head. But I'm hopping by putting the story down in print that my mother will call or comment and set the record straight, if needed.

Because you are simply too young for me to tell if you are going to be more like your dad, living always in the present, too busy with today to ponder yesterday, or if you are going to be more like your mama, enjoying looking at the past to find patterns that lead to the present.

So this is for you, my possible future historian. Or for your history minded spouse and/or offspring, depending.

Love,
Mom