Before Google

Dear Jack,

Your dad and I just got new phones and it has me thinking.

You are growing up in an age of instant information. Your dad's new Droid phone will completely obsolete by the time you are getting a phone of your own and I can only imagine how much smaller and faster your phone will be.

So I want to let you know the thing that makes me a little sad for your dad, living in this age of instant information.

Back in the day, before the internet, people couldn't just look up any piece of information they wanted. Some families had a set of books called encyclopedias and these were alphabetical listings of articles about important people, places, events and objects. If you wanted to know how long the Great Wall of China was, for example, you found the encyclopedia volume for the letter C and looked up "China" and found the subsection on the Great Wall and read that.

Now, you type "great wall" into Google on your i-phone and can know instantly.

I realize how that seems like such an improvement, and it is, but the thing is that most people didn't care to look that stuff up and a lot of times these random conversations in which people wanted to know about the Great Wall of China happened away from the living room bookshelf and then you and to rely on that guy you knew.

I guess it could have been a lady.

But I think every group of friends had a person who just knew stuff. You could be sitting at the dinner table and when you wanted to know about the Great Wall, you looked at that person and they would tell you.

Like a human google.

My dad, your grandfather, was one of those people. I remember people calling him to ask all sorts of random things. A lot of times it was questions about who was running for various offices -- a question that at the time could only be answered by looking through the right newspaper or calling someone who knew. Other times it would be history questions. My dad was a great historian. But mostly he just knew a lot of random things and a lot of people respected him because he had all of this information stored in his head.

Your dad is like that, too. He just knows stuff.

Only now we live in an age when anyone with an i-Phone, an 8th grade reading level and the ability to navigate a search engine knows stuff, too.

In a very strange and surreal way, I feel like I'm married to an old sharpshooter in the waning days of the Old West. His abilities are still amazing and admirable, but less and less useful in these modern times.

Even when I was in college, studying history, I remember a complete de-emphasis on learning dates and exact facts. The reasoning was that all of those details could be looked up later. the historian is a person who knows how to look at history and draw conclusions. The result is that your father, a business major, knows far more about history than I do. What I learned, I have forgotten, and much of the nitty gritty, I never learned in the first place.

By the time you are in school, no one will value the eidetic mind. No one needs to.

But I want you to know that your father's memory and rapid absorption of facts is still worth marveling over and, if you have the ability, emulating.

Even in this post-google world. Because every so often, the batteries die, the power goes out, the world wide web stops spinning for just a moment, and you may still want to know how long the Great Wall of China is.

Love,
Mom

Going to the Movies

Dear Jack,

You went to see your first movie theater movie today. I guess it's just a given when you have an older sister that princesses happen and so Tangled was your first theater experience.

You liked it a lot.

In the sense that you thought the stairs at the theater were cool.

And the open isles.

And that big open space at the bottom of the theater.

And the spaces between the seats that you are just small enough to fit in between.

And the bar in front of the front row of seat that you can fit under.

I only lost track of you once and you were quickly found in between two seats, and happily, you were strangely quiet during the whole show and so the other fifteen or so movie goers weren't bothered by your constant movement.

Your dad liked the movie a lot, too, and said there were really funny sight gags in it.

I wouldn't know.

I was looking at you.

Love,
Mom

My Happy Boy

Dear Jack,

This past week has been blissful for you. Your father and I are off work and we have kept you and your sister out of daycare to enjoy the time together.

During this last week, I have taken up crocheting, a hobby which you adore. I sit in my chair, a chair which I am becoming increasing convinced that you remember nursing in as you act like the moment I sit in it, you are by rights to sit with me.

Sometimes I do continue crocheting and you bring toys and play on my lap. Other times, you bring me a book to read, or we do a craft together. Many times we have watched your new Oceans movie. Your attention span for that movie amazes me. But mostly, we just sit. Reminding me that a mother is a place and I am yours, now as much as the nine (ten) months I carried you.

Your other joy this week has been your sister. Sydney has started "reading" to you by letting you look at books while she uses her TAG reader to read the book to you both. You love this process as much as she does and she is so very patient with you as you point to the pages and babble about the book with her.

The two of you have also had a fair amount of outside playtime this week as well. "'Side! 'Side" you say to me and your dad. Today it was rainy and we couldn't go 'side, but everywhere we went in the car, you pointed out the window excitedly, "'Side! 'Side!"

The other day, I used "insta snow" to let you and your sister have some fun outdoor play with pretend snow. You loved the feel of it and threw it on your sister and all over the ground.

You have been such a happy, happy boy this last week.

I forget, when you have been teething, or when you are off your routine, how breathtakingly joyful you can be when all is right with the world.

And this past week, all has been right.

Love,
Mom

Christmas with Friends

Dear Jack,

Life is full of choices.

If you chose not to live near family, you do get to have the exact hometown experience you want for your family, but you don't get to have family close by during the holidays.

It's always bothered me, that trade off. I hate Houston. A lot. But I love a lot of people who live there. In fact, I think your sister said something very similar today as she was talking about how far we were driving and said she liked Round Rock because it's not far. "But I hate going to far away places," she said, "But I don't hate Houston, because Uncle Dave and Aunt Suzanne live in Houston." She then proceeded to name off all of the other people we know and love in Houston, but that's the crux of it right there. I want to live in Georgetown, but I want a teleporter.

This year, we had already seen all of the family and I knew I wanted you and your sister to get to have Christmas morning at home. That's really important to me, as is you guys getting to have Christmas Eve at your home church. But then how do we have this holiday which is so much about coming together with people you love and care about by ourselves?

The answer is really good friends.

On Christmas Eve, we played with Andrew and his mom at the park (which we did last year, so I'm calling that a tradition now) and then Helen and I worked out a plan to have Christmas Eve dinner with them as well.

On Christmas Day, we went over to Abigail, Emelia, and Sean's house. Your sister and Sean ran a muck for the better part of three hours, while Abigail and Emelia took turns spoiling you by offering you every new Christmas toy in the house and following you around entertaining you.

Then we went over to Mrs. Ford's parent's house for Happy Birthday Jesus cake. It was a family tradition for Mrs. Ford growing up and her parents and sister were sweet enough to let us join in their family celebration.

So I guess, son, if when you are a grown man, if you really need to move to the seashore or to the mountains to raise your family and I can't be there for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day with you, I hope you find friends to celebrate the season with.

But I also hope you remember that I took you and your sister to see your Grandma this Christmas and every other, so don't forget to leave some time somewhere in December to come visit your mama.

Love,
Mom

Christmas at Home

Dear Jack,

There are three things I really want you to know about your second Christmas.

1) It was me, not your dad, who stayed up late assembling your present. (You dad did make the Sonic run that make me happy and caffeinated enough to do this with joy, I should add.)

2) Your big gift was this tool bench.

3) When you and your sister saw the playroom, all decked out for Christmas morning, you both ran in. She ran straight for your tool bench and you ran straight for her dollhouse.

Yep, that's how it went down. And all day today, she has continued to play with "your" tool bench as you have systematically gone through the dollhouse furniture looking for the pieces that have doors that open and those that don't. (Those fake doors, by the way, drive you crazy. "Stuck!" "Stuck!" you say over and over again.)

You did like your other gifts.

the tool belt

a tea set

cars and trucks and things that go

the movie Oceans

This was my favorite moment of the morning, though, you and your sister playing happily together.

Yum.

Love,
Mom

Christmas Eve at the Wesleyan

Dear Jack,

Before you were born, your sister and I used to go visit nursing homes. It was something I liked doing and thought was important for your sister to experience as well. When you were born, it was just too hard to take a toddler and a new baby to do something like that, so we stopped.

Now that you are older, it seemed like a good time to start again, so I called and found out that the Wesleyan was having a Christmas sing-a-long and that we would be welcome to join them for that.

Once we got there, I realized why I thought now was a good time to start back to our visiting.

Eighteen month olds (well, twenty month olds) are like gold to the elderly. Old enough to walk around and be cute, but too young to talk back.

They loved you, loved you, LOVED you. As in, were so enamored of you that the wise activity director took on your sister as a special helper because for the first time in her life, she felt upstaged.

I had to agree, though, you are really cute, especially at this age.

I suspect that it will be easy to get you to go back since they have some of your favorite things there: fish and birds (though not in the same container, obviously).

I am so happy that you were able to bring a smile to so many faces today of all days, sweet boy.

But of course, you bring a smile to mine every day.

Love,
Mom

Christmas on the Road

Dear Jack,

There will come a year, not too long in the future, when the annual Christmas roadtrip will be exciting to you. You will remember all of these people who love you so much from the last visit you had with them. You will understand how Christmas often equates to gift giving, which means new toys for you. You will be able to do things like play a DS in the car and won't have a car seat with its uncomfortable (and yet very secure) five point harness.

But that year is not this year.

This year is your toddler Christmas and there's a lot to be enjoyed there, but the newness of people you may or may not know you know and the frequent transition of visiting so many relations, and the unhappiness of being trapped in a car seat for four or more hours only to get to a city so large that it takes thirty minutes or more to get to a particular location in it, these are not the enjoyable moments.

So what did you enjoy this year?

You enjoyed being snuggled with Grandma after the indignity of having your mother wash peppermint out of your hair. Which reminds me, you also liked eating peppermint. And you enjoyed the interesting feeling of having it stick to your hair. For a while at least.

You enjoyed laying on the hammock at Grandma and Grandpa Nolen's house in El Campo. Until the hammock turned on you and threw you to the ground.

You enjoyed letting Grandpa comfort you after you took a tumble off of the hammock. (You did try the hammock again one more time, but after the second betrayal you would have nothing more to do with it).

I'm not sure you enjoyed the series of group shots I made you take at each location.

But you did enjoy opening presents at Nana's house and getting to play dress up with all of your new dress up clothes. You will enjoy even more when you are much older that you can now play dress up with police and doctor and firefighter uniforms and not your sister's princess dresses.

You did not enjoy the hotel room. "Bye!" "Bye!" You pretty much cried every moment that you weren't asleep in the room.

But you loved the hotel lobby with it's stairs, wide open spaces, and carbolicious breakfast selection.

You enjoyed opening gifts again with Aunt Dani, Aunt Kathi, PawPaw Hayes, Lillia and Myles. You especially enjoyed that your sister was willing to share her new gifts with you.

You did not enjoy the long drive to get to the zoo.

But once we were there, you loved looking at the fish, especially with your Gram.

In fact, I think you just liked spending time with Gram in general this visit.

Over at Grandma house, you enjoyed more present opening -- you are now a pro -- and all of the cookies and crackers she had for you. You also enjoyed being tickled by your silly grandma.

Overall, you enjoyed most of what we did. But I want you to know that ALL of that, ALL of those people we saw and ALL of the things we did, we did in 48 hours.

And we did it that way for you.

After almost a week in Houston with you at November, we just understood that you are, at least at this age, a homebody. One night away from your own bed was almost too much as it was, and any more would have certainly crossed the line.

So I'm glad we did this whirlwind trip taking Christmas on the road. You got to see all of the people who love you so much in Houston and still got to be home the next day to be in your comfort zone.

And I get the rest of this week to enjoy the time with you and your toddler Christmas experience. See, everybody wins.

Love,
Mom

Advent - Reflection on Week Three

Dear Jack,

First of all, how cute are you?

That was your daycare's holiday party. You got a Santa hat and more treats than you, well, I was going to say "more treats than you could eat" but that's really not true. You ate them all.

In fact, this week in Advent was largely about eating.

Because on the same day as your holiday party, we went to the church for the gingerbread house build and you never stopped eating. Really. Forty minutes of hand to mouth, hand to mouth. Candy, chocolate, marshmallows, graham crackers, pretzels. I don't know how you did it. By the end, you looked a little stoned.

But we did do some things that we're about eating.

On the 13th day of Advent, we opened the book The Twelve Days of Christmas.

On the 14th day of Advent, we opened more craft supplies.

On the 15th day of Advent, we read The Gingerbread Baby and then went to the aforementioned gingerbread house build.

On the 16th day of Advent, we opened the shepherds and the angel from the Little People nativity set... now all we have left from that set is Baby Jesus.

On the 17th day of Advent, we opened more stickers to put on presents.

On the 18th day of Advent, we opened a Veggie Tales Christmas Special.

On the 19th day of Advent, we opened Woody's White Christmas, which is a book about the Toy Story toys and Christmas.

I am so enjoying this toddler Christmas with you.

Love,
Mom

Why Wizards Don't Homeschool

Dear Jack,

This is what happens when a squib (that is, a non-magical person who had magical parents and therefore knows a thing or two about magic) tries to raise two magical children in a muggle household.

Notice that it is the muggle mother who gets it in the end.

Love,
Mom

Advent - Reflection on Week Two

Dear Jack,

This was the second week of Advent and I have been trying so hard to enjoy every moment of it with you.

This is your one and only toddler Christmas. Next year, you will be a little two and a half year old boy. You will be able to do so much more and enjoy more, but you won't be the little guy you are this year.

So I want to enjoy it all.

On the sixth day of Advent, we opened a new book Christmas in the Manger and found some crafty stickers inside.

On the seventh day of Advent, we opened more craft supplies, but these were less Jack-friendly.

On the eight day of Advent, we opened The Tale of the Three Trees.

On the ninth day of Advent, we opened the manger and animals that go with the Little People Nativity set -- this was one of your favorites.

On the tenth day of Advent, we opened stickers to go on presents and went out to Ft. Hood the the Nature in Lights display.

On the eleventh day of Advent, we opened the movie Santa Claus is Coming to Town which I enjoy as a fun story despite my aversion to the actual practice of believing in Santa. We also tried to go to Pioneer Farms, found it closed, went to Kaleidoscope Toys instead and then went to Wolf Ranch with the Fords so that their dogs could get pictures with Santa.

On the twelfth day of Advent, we opened the book The Nutcracker and then we to go see the ballet.
I enjoyed getting you all dressed up and watching Act I on the TV... in the foyer... while you expressed your displeasure at my decision to ask you to sit through a performance.

You did enjoy getting home and playing with your new nutcracker toy.

Which was nice, since your overall opinion of the ballet was less than enthusiastic.

Still, even though I was in the position of sitting patiently in the foyer of the Jones Hall while passersby commented on the poor tired baby (they were being generous -- you had a nap) on the floor, I still enjoyed the show. I know this is a stage you are going through and feel like as long as your little temper tantrums neither get you what you want nor rob the rest of us of what we want, we'll all be fine.

And we were.

And you will learn.

In fact, I was reminded of this particular light display from the Nature in Lights.

Last year I took this picture.

It's the difference between these two Christmases, I think. Last year, coming off of the loss of Uncle James, I was looking for peace, for a feeling of well being, of knowing that God has a plan beyond anything we can see. This year, I am very focused on finding the joy. Of enjoying each age and stage with you and your sister, no matter what.

Because we are all blessed to have each other and to the mother who has lost a son, to the couple trying to conceive, to the parents of a developmentally delayed child, to those servicemen and women deployed during the holidays and to so many more, the idea of having the privilege of watching your toddler throw a screaming fit in the foyer outside of the Nutcracker ballet is pure joy.

And I'm not going to forget that.

Love,
Mom

Advent - Reflection on Week One

Dear Jack,

The first week of Advent has come and gone. Already, this far in the season, you are loving it.

For Advent gift one, you and your sister opened The Story of Christmas and your daddy read to you about the importance of celebrating the birth of Baby Jesus.

On the second day of Advent, your sister opened the first part of the Little People Nativity Set: Mary and Joseph and their donkey. You played with those pieces for a good half hour... a long time for a little boy.

On the third day of Advent, we went to the first part of the Christmas Stroll downtown.

While there, we visited "Bethlehem" downtown. After we got home, you went straight to bed and your sister opened the third gift: stickers to decorated the presents under the tree.

On the fourth day of Advent, we opened A Mickey Mouse Christmas Carol and went to the second day of the Christmas stroll where we revisited Bethlehem and did some shopping.


On the fifth day of Advent, we opened the magnetic Christmas Story book and played with the people and scenes. Then we went on to see the Scottish Rite Theater's production of A Christmas Carol with our friend Andrew.

I've enjoyed the things we have done so far this Advent. Some of them have been geared more religiously than others, but all have promoted family bonding and the spirit of togetherness that I know God intended for His Son when he gave Him to an earthly mother and father.

That's my real hope and prayer for this Advent season: Lord, help me in my endeavor to be a better mother that I may strive towards being a mother like the one in whom you entrusted your Son's care.

I doubt I ever get there. But I love you, your sister and our God so much that I want to try.

Love,
Mom

Texture,Tea and Turkey

Dear Jack,

We have been so busy lately that I haven't really taken the time to talk about what you have been interested in.

You are currently in your texture-seeking phase. You love to play with the little rocks and shells that I put together for your sister when she was in this same phase.

One day, though, you were asking for some of the beans in the pantry and I thought, "why not?" Sadly, your dad came home a little early that day and I found out why not. It turns out that although I think of them as an art supply, beans can actually be cooked and some people like to have them for dinner.

Also, if you are going to do something like play with dry beans, you should leave some extra time to sweep up before your dad gets home, sees the mess and has to ask, "What's going on here?" Because "we wanted to play with beans" doesn't sound as convincing when you have to say it out loud.

I'm glad your dad got over it, though, because a few nights later I found another fabulous find in the pantry: penne pasta. Do you know what you can do with penne pasta?

That's right: string it on pipe cleaners and pull it off again.

Well, you can't string it, but your sister can and you can pull it off. What fun! What great fine motor development! What a neat feel in your fingers!

What about dinner?

Your dad says we can have baked pasta next week, after he goes back to the grocery store. He also said, in case I was eying the rice, that he wanted to make stir fry tomorrow night.

In addition to texture play, you have been very much into play eating (which you also do during texture play, I might add). I love this stage because it means that tea parties are happening with increased regularity around our house. In fact, it's one of the few games that you and your sister can actually play together right now and how fun is that?

So much fun that the other day while we were playing outside, I offered to let the two of you "tea party" with your lunch, serving it outside on the tea party table.

And last, but not least, the bit about turkey...

Your daycare does an annual Thanksgiving Program where each class does a presentation. Your teacher boldly sang a couple of songs with you and your other little toddler friends standing/sitting/crawling/crying next to her while wearing/tearing off/eating turkey hats. Too cute!

And yes, I found you an actual toddler suit. It's Janie and Jack. I found it at the consignment shop for $12. I'm hoping it fits through Easter.

Love,
Mom