Seeing You in Winter

Dear Jack,

All week, the weatherman has predicted snow today, Friday February 4th. I was talking to one of my co-workers and expressing my excitement at the prospect of snow when she pointed out that it has snowed just last year and that it wasn't all that exciting. Not that exciting? Is Christmas less exciting because it happened a year ago? Is a birthday? Is going to the beach or the zoo or the museum?

Aside from everything else, the last time it snowed, you were a crawly baby, not a walking boy. It's a completely different experience for you and I am thrilled that you got to have again so soon in your toddlerhood.

Much like last year, you hated the coldness of the snow while simultaneously being enthralled by its texture. Unlike last year, though, you were able to move around in the snow without getting your entire body covered in snow.

You ran around in the snow and pelted your sister and me with handfuls of snow. You tried eating the snow and falling down on it.

You snuggled up with me on my hammock and enjoyed the warmth of the blanket and the gentle swinging motion.

Mostly, though, you looked adorable. Absolutely precious. The silly hat, the pink cheeks and nose, the bright blue eyes.

There is a Rodgers and Hammerstein song "If Ever I Would Leave You." It goes something like this, "if ever I would leave you, how could it be in winter; seeing you in winter, I never would go." Of course, the follow-up lines explain that the singer could never leave in fall, summer, or spring either.

I feel that way about you. In summer, I think I can't love you any more than I do, floating in the water, holding you. In fall, the pumpkins and their orangeness and the Jack o'Lantern puns bring me such joy and I fall in love with you in a way that I think cannot be replicated. Now it is winter and I cannot image loving you more than I do right now, seeing you in the snow.

What will spring bring? I cannot wait to see.

Love,
Mom