Where Do You Stand?

Dear Jack,

When your sister was somewhat younger than you are now, I remember thinking that it was easier to be a girl. What I meant by that was that girls can do girly things and it's completely expected, but they can do boyish things and that's okay, too.

It's harder with boys. Your dad and I couldn't care less that you love to play dress up and enjoy your sister's princess clothes as much as your own fireman outfit (or that sometimes you pair the fireman jacket with a nice floppy sun bonnet). We understand that first and foremost, gender and gender roles are absolutely meaningless to you and secondly, you are emulating your favorite little role model who just happens to be your sister. And she's a girl.

I have tried not to put too much of these random moments on your blog because I don't ever want my little letters to you to be a source of embarrassment. I also am very wary of crossing a line between allowing you to explore the world in your own unique way and encouraging you to be weird and different.

But right now, you are exploring, and it seems a shame not to document it.

So the story of the day is this: you see your sister getting her hair done all the time and you never get to have pony tails. Ever. Lately, you have been bringing me pony tail holders daily. Your daddy even tried to give you a pony, but found your hair too short for his big hands to wrap up. So this weekend, I had the time and you had the inclination. I started with a top knot like your sister had when she was your age, but you wanted lots of ponies.



So that's what we did.

I know a lot of mamas wouldn't have answered your request this way, and that's okay. I know that you enjoyed the experience and after having it once this weekend, you decided you preferred not to be subject to all that scalp pulling your sister has to endure and went back to wearing brightly colored rubber bands as bracelets.

But if you want ponies again next weekend, I'll do it for you again. But I will draw the line at wearing your hair this way in public -- I won't subject you to the disapproving glaring of an ignorant public until you are old enough to expect it, tolerate it, and answer to it.

That's my stand.

Love,
Mom