Not Your Parents

Dear Jack,

These are not your parents. I know that over the course of the last month, you have spent a lot of time around them... something like twelve days and ten nights, to be precise. I know you have slept cuddled up between them and that they spoil you like crazy. I know they solved both your sinus infection and your diaper rash and that they don't let you fuss for more than a second without trying to fix things for you. But they aren't your parents.

This is also not your parent. I know she got up with you at four in the morning many many mornings this month. I know she lets you grab her hair just because you like to. I know she taught you how to eat solid food. I know she rode a carousel with you, got a motion sickness headache and everything just to share the experience with you. But she is not your parent.

Once again, not your parent. Yes, he held you while wearing his favorite t-shirt and you spat up all over it, and then he held you again, after it was clean, and you spat up all over it again and he didn't hold it against you. He does run out to the car to get anything you need and loves to make you laugh. But he is not your parent.

I am telling you all of this because lately you have seemed just a little bit confused. When your Uncle James died, your dad and I had to focus on getting through that crisis, on helping out your grandparents and your Aunt Rachel and cousin Will. We had to do a lot of things that were hard and we weren't always at our best. So to be the best parents we could be for you during that time, we had to decide to let you stay with Gonzalez's. There were four of them and they were able to spend all of their time and attention caring for you. It was a much, much, much better experience for you than being with your own stressed out parents would have been.

So that's why when your Aunt Dani brought you up to the funeral home to see me and I reach for you and you turned back to her, I knew I had chosen well. You see, for this last month, you felt that cared for and that loved.

Now, though, things are getting back to normal and you have your very own parents back.

But we'll still be seeing a lot of your Aunt Dani, Uncle Mark, Lillia, and Myles. And honestly, I think they are just as confused as you are because they still act like you might be their little boy.

And I love that about them. And I know you do, too.

Love,
Mom