Good Grief

Dear Jack,

You might be over your stomach bug.

Of course, I said that on Sunday, too. See, you threw up Saturday night several times, slept the rest of the night with your mama, and then all Sunday morning, you were kind of listless. By Sunday night, though, you were your old self.

So off to day care you went.

Then Monday night, you threw up again.

You slept the rest of that night with your mama. You were grouchy and irritable Tuesday morning. But by Tuesday evening, you were so much better. I figured you might be over your stomach bug.

So off to day care you went.

Then Wednesday night, you threw up again. A lot.

You slept the rest of the night with your mama.

I took you to the doctor Thursday. She said that since you weren't throwing up during the day and were acting just fine in between episodes, you could go back to daycare.

I'm skeptical about this advice, but since day care was the source of the bug and I know the teacher and the three little girls in your class have already had it, I'm not too worried about contagion.

So off to day care you went.

You are asleep in your bed right now, having been pretty normal all evening.

I think you might finally be over your stomach bug.

But I've been wrong before.

Love,
Mom

Sweet Berry Farms

Dear Jack,

Today we took you and your sister out to Sweet Berry Farms.

Mostly, this is about my desire to take cute pictures of the two of you. Fortunately for all involved, once I have the pictures I want, I am happy to let people play and do as they please.

So after getting the perfect pictures, both of you and your sister individually, and the two of you together, it was time to do the corn maze.

Last year, you were a little 5 month old baby and had to stay with me in the stroller while your dad and sister did the maze. This year, you were running around it all by yourself. What a difference a year makes!

I thought about that a lot because it was at Sweet Berry Farms last year that I nursed you for just about the last time. You were pretty much weaned before we came, and I had bottles for you. But while your dad and sister did the hayride and picked flowers, you were tired and fussy and the only thing that would help was that unique combination of nutrition and nurturing. So I brought you back to that tree we sat under, thinking of how hard it was a year ago to let go of that bond and how glad I am that we had it for as long as we did. I suppose some day you will be mortified to know this background information about Sweet Berry Farms and that tree right there, but for me it will always be a part of the charm of the place.

Well, that and the fact that they sell Jacks.

Oh!?! Not the Jack puns again!?!

Love,
Mom

A Magical Place

Dear Jack,

While I was away from you, I went to a magical place. I think if this house ever met our backyard, some sort of cosmic event would unfold and the universe would never be the same.

Really, what I am saying is, I went to the house I would have if I didn't have your father to consider.

What's so special about this house?

Well, for one thing, you can draw on the walls.

That's right. Just pick up a piece of chalk as inspiration strikes, and draw on the wall. Or the cabinet.

And if that gets boring, pick up a piece of paper and make some new wall art.

When you are finished, you can hang it in the bathroom. Of course.

You can also juggle and play dress up any time you please because all of the things you need for either are in the middle of the living room, ready to be played with.

I know. Why don't we live in this house? Well, for one thing, being that openly creative is messy and your father, and your sister, and even you little guy, like order. It was chaotic, expressive, creative me that loved the freedom of expression. I'm not really sure how you or your sister would feel about the space, but I know for certain that just imagining it is driving your father batty.

So we live in a house of order. Where sidewalk chalk is for the sidewalk and the arts and crafts supplies have a draw that little hands cannot open and the dress up materials stay neatly in the draw in the bedroom and sadly, the bathroom walls are empty of all artwork.

But when you walk into the backyard, you see the magic in the painted fence, the pinwheels, and the whirlygigs, and the rock garden.

So I guess you get a little of both... an orderly home to live in, and a magical backyard to roam through.

And when you are older, I will take you to visit this magical home and we'll see if you love it as much as I do.

Love,
Mom

It Isn't You

Dear Jack,

This isn't you asleep on my chest.

I know. It looks like you. Aside from the pink pacifier and all. She's even wearing your favorite babyhood color: orange.

Awake, the two of you really don't look much alike. Her mouth and eyes, and even the shape of her face is so different than yours. But asleep, with the eyes closed and the pacifier in the mouth, you notice the shape of the brow and the nose, and those features are so like yours. The back of her head is also like yours... and currently has the same little bald spot on the crown where you did at this age.

It was so nice to hold her like this, like I used to hold you. Awake, she wanted her mama, but asleep, any warm soft space would do and so I would hold her asleep as much as I could.

Being around Jamie made me miss your baby time. Do you remember how we used to sit in that green chair and sleep during the day? Do you remember me wearing you in that orange Moby Wrap? Do you remember memorizing my face as I memorized yours?

I remember it all. And I miss it.

And I'm so grateful to your little cousin, letting me hold her so that I could enjoy those moments once more, this time with her.

Love,
Mom

Who's Afraid of the Big Russian Wolfhound?

Dear Jack,

This past weekend, you had your first play date. Funnily, you and your sister were the only kids there.

That's right. It was a puppy play date.

We started these with your sister and the Ford's poodle, Gracie. The goal was to help your sister become accustomed to dogs while helping Gracie become accustomed to kids. It seems to be working and Gracie and your sister are pretty good friends. This last play date, though, we added you and Lincoln. Both of you were pretty hesitant at first.

I understood your wariness... Lincoln is a Borzoi, a Russian wolfhound that stands taller than you and is somewhere around four times your weight.

The idea that Lincoln was afraid of you was a little more comical, but I understand to a dog, a toddler is a dangerously unpredictable being.

Mostly, you avoided both dogs at first, but after a while, you and Mrs. Ford settled on a ball tossing game and you became so engrossed with the ball that you forgot there were two large dogs in the room.

By the end of the visit, you were trying to hand bones to Gracie and narrowly missed throwing many balls onto Lincoln (and by "narrowly missed" I do mean "because Mrs. Ford has good reflexes").

My only complaint in all of this is that your dad is becoming more and more convinced that you and your sister will need to own a dog one day.

Why couldn't the Fords own cute pet rocks?

Love,
Mom

What's in a Shoe?

Dear Jack,

I ordered what will probably be your last two pairs of Robeez this week. Really and truly, you are ready for real shoes and have several pairs of them, but the funny thing about you is that you prefer having shoes on to being barefoot.

*Gasp*

I know, as much as we are alike, you are still so different from your mama. I kick my shoes off first chance I get; you literally cry when I try to take your shoes off.

So although I thought we were done with Robeez, I had to reevaluate when I realized you want shoes on as long as you are awake. Hard soled shoes just aren't good for little feet all day long and so you needed a soft soled shoe to change into in the evenings at least.

Choosing Robeez styles is a very time consuming process. I looked over all of the choices and finally tried to pick between these two:

Do you know why I had to buy them both?

I finally realized that I like the sailor whales because of your Uncle Jonathan and I liked the skating hippos because although Uncle James moved on to stunt bikes pretty quickly, he had a skating phase in high school, which is around when I met him.

How could I chose between your two uncles?

So I bought them both.

I hope they make your feet happy.

Love,
Mom

Did Someone Say Jack?

Dear Jack,

Everyone has given me a hard time about all of the Jack puns and literary references that I find so very fun. I keep saying I'll have to get them out of my system before you get much older.

But now I'm starting to wonder... a whole page of things from A-Z and what's your favorite?

The Jack O' Lantern.

Of course.

Love,
Mom