The Root of the Problem

Dear John,

You have continued to struggle with your temper and escalating reactions to situations.  We changed you from Children's Courtyard/Xplor back to Kid's Kottage and while things have certainly improved, they are not resolved.

You have stopped the constant pants wetting and are even dry through naps, which is nice.  You continue, however, to throw fits when you do not get your way and refuse to take time outs, running from teachers, refusing to come to them, and generally making adults track you down literally kicking and screaming.

The other day it was over a time out for jumping off of the see-saw when you were told not to.  Another day it was a time out over throwing a ball at a kid.  One day it was having to clean up.  Yesterday it was not getting to have your breakfast at home, having to wait 15 minutes until we got to school.

I wonder if it's just you being three.  I wonder if it's your strong-willed personality.  I wonder if it's a sign of intelligence.  I wonder if it's something else, something bad.

You know what the problem is, though, because you told me today.  You told me that you want to be good and make good choices, but your brain won't let you.  Your brain tells you to do bad choices.

I don't know what to say to a three year old who talks this way.

I pointed out that you are your brain and that every brain has a "child voice" and a "grown-up voice" and that we should listen to our "grown-up voices."

You could understand this idea of your brain being a kid.  You said you would like to put your brain in time out.

If only it were that easy.

But I think you do know what you are talking about.  I think the root of the problem is your brain, not your temper or your age.  I think we need to get this brain under control.

Soon.

Love,
Mom