A Lesson in Old Fashioned Schooling

Dear Jack,

I like to look at this picture of you, edited of course, but showing exactly how I envisioned Pioneer Days to be for you... a trip backwards in time to simpler days.

Of course, I took many other pictures of you today. This is a picture of you and Peter playing in the one room school house.

I did not take a picture of the fit you threw when it was time to leave.

This is a picture of you playing with all of the old fashioned toys. They even had jacks! Your favorites, though, were the wooden cars. You had so much fun!

I did not take a picture of the fit you threw when it was time to leave here either.

This is a picture of you washing clothes. You walked from the scrubber bucket to the water bucket over and over and over again. You loved the feeling of the water and the strange texture of the washboard. You had a great time at this station.

That's right, I did not take a picture of the fit you threw when it was time to leave this station either.

It's funny to me sometimes. So many people looked on in alarm as you cried, especially as they saw I wasn't attending to you; either holding you and talking with your dad over your cries, or inside the building, standing at one end of the short hallway as you cried at the other. I sensed that many on-lookers felt that I was somehow being a neglectful parent by not consoling you in your distress. One woman came over to give us a corn hush doll to try to make you feel better. I politely explained to her and the other gentleman who did approach us that you were angry, not hurt, but that one woman still insisted on giving you that doll. Did they reward children for throwing fits in the pioneer days?

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't even tempted to take the ruler from the one room school house to swat you with; I'm not interested in going back all the way to the "good old days," but we did have a talk or five.

You are almost two years old sweet boy and you are in charge of your emotions, no one else. I am sorry that it's hard to move on from one activity to another. I am also sorry in retrospect that we didn't let you nap and then go out.

Mostly, though, I am sorry that passersby today let you see that they felt sorry for you instead of realizing that an almost two year old boy pitching the kinds of fits you threw today needed to be ignored until he got control of himself. I'm sorry that at Pioneer Day, of all places, you didn't find the kind of old fashioned intolerance for that sort of public display of anger that I think we as a culture are currently lacking.

Because you are going to grow into a fine young man. You have already come so far with your ability to manage your impulse control and moderate your own emotions and you are not even two yet! But you didn't get that way by being offered a toy or a sympathetic look every time things didn't go your way.

And because we love you so very much, you will continue to see an almost, hmm, pioneer-like stoicism from me and your dad when you are acting so very out of control. Because in that one room schoolhouse that I took your picture looking so very sweet and innocent in, there was no room for a boy with a temper, and in my modern schoolroom, there are so very many, and I love you too much to let you be one of them.

Love,
Mom