Down by the Bay with Uncle Jon and Gram

Dear Jack,

After the zoo, we went to bay to look at the water, walk on the sand, and maybe get our feet wet.

I guess I should have explained the plan better.

Not that it would have helped. You saw those waves and you ran. Full speed. No fear. No reservation. No survival instinct or healthy wariness, which worries me a bit. You ran. I think you ran into the bay about a dozen times. You would run until the water slowed you down, you would face the waves and when they knocked you over, you trusted your mama to help you right yourself and never once cried or fussed over sensation of being completely submerged.

You did keep saying "fish? mouth?" as the ocean spray hit your face. I finally realized it was the taste of salt that you were referring to and explained as much. "Salt. Mouth" you said as you opened your mouth into the on-coming wave.

Sigh. Trying to put the recent gulf coast oil spill out of my mind as I think of you taking in filthy bay water. Oh well.

After the first half dozen ventures out, I was soaked and I decided to go ahead and change into my swim top. I left you with Uncle Mark since there was no keeping you from the waves. When I got back, you were up on the beach and Aunt Dani explained that you had become suddenly pensive and they weren't sure why.

I knew why. Your mama had left. My bold brave boy who faces waves with wild abandon cannot stand to have his mama leave him. Uncle Mark understood. His own sweet boy had divided the world into "Daddy" and "not the daddy" and so he knew he was "not the mama" and that was okay.

I love the mixture of braverism and security-seeking in you. That you can face anything with your mama behind you is endearing to me.

I love you and will always stand behind you when you need me to help you face the waves. Even when you are a great big boy like Uncle Jonathan.

Love,
Mom