Turkey Build 2011

Dear John,

This past weekend was the annual Count Your Blessings Potluck and Turkey Build.

You have been to one of these every year of your life, and I imagine that you will remember it fondly.  For your dad and me, though, it has become a very bittersweet activity because we both remember it as the last thing we did as a family before we heard that your Uncle James had been killed in Afghanistan.

So the Turkey Build, for us, signals a true start to the time of grieving.  It also is a reminder of how quickly life changes... we were at church one day, having a grand time... and the next (at least in our memories), we were taking and making phone calls that we never want to experience again.

We are unsure where to go with these associations.  On the one hand, it is so obvious to latch on to the memory of Uncle James and his legacy and use those as a reminder to truly count our blessings.  On the other hand, it is so hard to be thankful when there is a hole in your heart the size of a brother.  We have so much; but we don't have your Uncle James.

This was your third Turkey Build.  It is also the start of the third year of your life without Uncle James.  It's just not fair.

How can we enjoy something as trivial and silly as painting and constructing a wooden turkey when there are men and women still out there fighting for our freedom today?

How can we not take the time to enjoy something this silly and trivial when we know how short life can be?

I think your dad is still processing where to put all of these emotions.  I know I am.

So we did what we could.  We made a new turkey... a new memory with your and your sister.

We had a good time... after a rocky patch in which someone was rushing, someone was being rushed, someone was running amuck and someone else was covered in paint.  I'm not naming names.  But I was being rushed.

It came together at the end, though, as I asked you and your sister what you are thankful for.


She said she was thankful for God, first.  I am so very proud that she said that, that she feels that way.
She then said she was thankful for her brother, for you.  I wrote it as "my brother" on the turkey feather because I knew your dad meant it, too.  He is thankful for the time he had with Uncle James.  He is thankful to still have Uncle Jonathan.
She also said she was thankful for her parents, for your dad and me.  I wrote that as "my parents" because it's true for your dad and me, too.  We are thankful for our parents.
Then she said she was thankful for flowers.  Because they are pretty.

Then I asked you what you were thankful for.
You said, right away, "I thank my name, John."  You are thankful for your name, you silly, sweet boy.
Then I asked again what you were thankful for, what you wanted to thank God for and you said, "Daily bread" because of course the words "daily bread" come after the word "thank you God" for you.
Then you said your sister, Sydney.  I wrote it down as "my sister" because although I don't have much in common with her, and she isn't really a part of your life, I am thankful for my sister; I wouldn't be who I am without her.

I finished out the feathers with "my children" and "my spouse" for your dad and me, and then "friends" for us all.

We have so much to be thankful for.  So very much.  But I don't think it's wrong at all to stop to be sad that one of our most precious blessings was taken away far too soon.

Love,
Mom

2009

2010

2011