Two is Enough

Dear Jack,

I have been very reflective of you today. You see, I know that you will be my last baby and that means that every thing about you is the last thing. Being pregnant with you is the last time I will be pregnant. Being in the hospital with you is the last time I will be in the maternity ward post delivery. Being up in the middle of the night feeding you is the last midnight feedings I will ever do (even though there are many, many, many more of them in store for you).

I am so sure that you would be my last that I went ahead and had the doctor tie my tubes after delivering you. A lot of people are going to wonder how I could know for sure that you and your sister were enough for me. The funny thing is that this blog is the answer.

When I was pregnant with you, many folks wondered how I would change your sister's blog from a "Sydney blog" to a family blog. I told them I wouldn't. I wanted your sister to always have a record of her life to be shared with friends and family and I want the very same for you. I spent weeks working on this blog while I was still pregnant with you. Instead of picking paint colors for the nursery (since you are sharing a room with your sister), I picked font colors. Instead of nursery themes, I chose blog names. I made your father listen to a litany of choices and when he would ask why any of it mattered (since really when did font colors ever matter to your dad), I would explain to him that all the cyber-nesting was keeping him from having to pay for a second nursery. After that, he happily agonized over the light blue verses the slate blue with me.

In working on your blog, I realized that I could only keep up with so much. Two blogs are a lot of evening typing. If I ever had a third child, could I do three blogs? That got me thinking about all of the things I want for you and your sister. Can I manage two preschoolers doing arts and crafts? Yes, I can. Can I manage three? Hmmm. Can I manage two sporting events on a weekend? Sure. Three? Maybe not. Dance and piano recitals, martial arts, cooking classes, whatever your interests, I want to help you delve in and enjoy them to their fullest. I'm sure there are many, many fine women out there that could do that for three or four or more children. I think I know a few of them. I just realized I wasn't one of them.

I also realized that I could have just made one family blog and that would be an okay choice, too. Only it's not the kind of mother I want to be. I don't want you and your sister to sift through the family blog for stories about you. I want you to shine as individuals. Of course, there are many, many fine families for whom that sort of tribal mentality makes for both a strong family and strong members. It just wasn't my plan for you.

So, there you go. Two is enough for this family. And everything your sister does will be special because she is my first born. But everything you do will be special because you are my last born. And I like it that way.

Love,
Mom