A while back, my friend Summer had this whole blog post using the exact same pun about guys and dolls. Her post was more about which kind of doll to buy for her son, but it got me thinking, even before you were born: would I want my son to have a doll?
It was so easy to decide to give your sister cars and trucks and tools. Girls can have boyish things these days with little to no social repercussions. I would even argue that there is an entire counter-culture movement where have a "boyish" little girl is a good thing. I know that your dad and I value your sister's toughness and physical nature. We appreciate that she likes to be outside and doesn't mind being dirty. We have actually outlawed the Disney Princesses and the message of girl-waiting-to-be-rescued that they bring with them. Mostly, though, we are proud of all of the skills she is picking up and how many of them are useful skills, gender-roles aside. Cooking, cleaning, washing a car, using a hammer are all skills that everyone should know.
For you, though, would I have the same philosophies? Would I, in a southern culture that ridicules the softer side of men and thinks that men acting like women are weak, be strong enough to raise a son in touch with his feminine side?
It turns out that I am. I love your boyishness. Already I can see that you are a much different kind of person than your sister. But when it comes to some things, I want them to be the same. She got her first doll for her first Christmas, and so did you. Right now, all you want to do is nom on him, and maybe that will be all he's good for to you, but I wanted you to have the chance to carry around a precious baby and love on him like I love on you. Maybe, like so many of my southern friends have said, it's only little girls who have that natural instinct to play "mommy," but if that be the case, I wanted to be something you chose within yourself, not something I denied you the chance to express.Love,
Mom
Yay! Cute doll and way cuter boy there. Pip cuddles and kisses his animals much more than his dolls, but sometimes he still picks them up and says, "hugs!" or "kiss" and carries out the action he specified. I guess I hadn't thought much about whether Pip could play with all types of toys since his Poppa is strong and sensitive. But a friend at church recently told me she refused to buy a play kitchen for her daughter because she feared gender-stereotyping, and she admired our bravery in getting Pip a play kitchen. I think I must live a lot in my own rarified head, because it had not occurred to me that play kitchens could be girly. I'm all like, "food culture," and the South is all like, "trucks and guns! Cooking is for sissies.".
ReplyDeleteI did notice that your post was all about what kind of doll to buy and that they owning of the doll was a given. I think the one I chose for Jack was actually one of the ones you had considered.
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