Uncle James

Dear Jack,

Someday, when you are older, you will hear your dad and me (and a lot of other people) talk about your Uncle James.

You will hear stories about the time that Uncle James shot Uncle Jonathan with a bamboo skewer loaded in a BB gun.

Or the time that Uncle James threw a ball of solid ice at your dad and almost took out his eye.

You will hear stories about how your grandma had to bail Uncle James out of jail the night before your parents' wedding because of all those unpaid speeding tickets he liked to collect.

You will hear stories about Uncle James' tattoos and the one that he got and then developed MRSA (a pretty serious antibiotic resistant staph infection).

Or the story of the other tattoo your Uncle James got and then developed a second round of MRSA.

You will hear the story of the time your Uncle James tried to jump a truck while riding a trick bike being pulled by a piece of rope attached to another truck.

That story will be followed quickly by the story of the time Uncle James broke the tips off the two bones in his leg and then walked around for a couple of days thinking it was maybe a sprain.

The story of the time your Uncle James came over to go skeet shooting with your dad, only he didn't have a rifle case, so he walked up the stairs to our apartment wearing a "wife beater" shirt that showed off all of those famous tats with a rifle slung over his shoulder and the neighbors almost called the cops.

The story about the worst New Year's Eve ever where your dad and I stayed up all night cleaning up after the party your Uncle James threw at Grandma's house so that maybe (just maybe) your Uncle James would still have a place to live in the new year.

See, there are a lot of really funny Uncle James stories out there. We plan on telling them a lot. We hope you think that they are funny stories. But we also really hope you don't plan on reenacting any of them (especially the trick bike stunt -- even Uncle James admitted that was a mistake).

So I also want you to know that there are a whole lot of other Uncle James stories.

The story about how he learned to weld and made a barbecue pit for your dad and even named it "The Pit of Despair" to reference The Princess Bride, which was one of his very favorite movies.

The story about the Thanksgiving that he came up here and made the very best turkey ever even though he was by far the youngest cook in the house.

The story about how whenever he came up to see us, he would sharpen all of our cooking knives because it was a subtle and quiet way he could be helpful.

The story about how he joined the Army because he wasn't happy with where his life was going and he knew he wanted to do better.

Of how excited he was to be a part of such a brotherhood, how much he loved doing things like jumping out of perfectly good planes, and how proud he was to be a soldier.

The story about when he first met your Aunt Rachel, he was too nervous to talk to her, so he played with your cousin Will instead.

The story about how when he brought Aunt Rachel and Will to see us, he was so loving and attentive to both of them, rough housing with Will, hugging on Aunt Rachel.

The story about how when he left for Afghanistan, he made sure he had moved Aunt Rachel and Will to a new house, bought a deep freeze and filled it with food because he wanted to make sure they were cared for.

The story about how he would climb buildings in Afghanistan to get cell phone reception so he could call Aunt Rachel and check on her, Will, and the baby.

Those stories might not be the funny ones, but I hope you listen to them as well, because they speak so much to your Uncle James' character, and it is his character that I do so hope you will emulate.

How he never stayed mad at your dad or Uncle Jon (or anybody else), no matter what they did.

How everyone who spent any amount of time at all around him, feel in love with him.

How patient he was with little kids -- especially little kids he considered family.

How full of life and happy he was.



I'm telling you all of this because a week ago, on November 22, 2009, we found out that Uncle James was killed in Afghanistan and the thing that is breaking everyone's hearts right now is that you and your sister, and Uncle James' son Will and his little Peanut on the way, and all the other kids that get to share in this Nolen family, won't get to make new Uncle James stories.


So I want you to know, your Uncle James story is this: when Uncle James came down to Texas from North Carolina to let the family meet Aunt Rachel and Will, he made a point to come the extra eight hours out of his way to see you, to be there when you were baptized, and to welcome you to the family. Because family was everything to Uncle James.

All the other Uncle James stories, you will share with your sister and cousins, but that one is yours.

Cherish it, and as you get older, if you do find yourself trying out some really off-the-wall stunts and tricks, know you come by it honestly. And Uncle James would be proud.

Love,
Mom