Leveling Up

Dear Jack,

There is a genre of games called RPGs (Role Playing Games) which are characterized by having characters who "level up" over the course of the game, gaining new skills and abilities.

Babies, I think, level up. You go through these growth spurts and then you come out with new things you can do. Last growth spurt, you took "increased stomach size" which enabled you to go longer in between meals. A cool trick, I thought.

This time, you seemed to have taken "stay awake longer" which is also a useful skill. You first tried out your new ability yesterday, from about 3PM to 6PM. I knew something was up because you have never, ever stayed awake for three hours straight before. Aside from times when you were actually eating, you tended to only be awake for thirty minutes or so, and often you would wake up only long enough to eat and then you would be right back asleep. So, for you, at least, this being awake for three hours at a time is a whole new world.

Unfortunately for both of us, until you level up a few more times and take "increased gross motor skill" and "basic hand eye co-ordination" as new feats, this whole new world of wakefulness you have discovered is peppered with a great deal of boredom.


It wasn't really a problem at 3PM yesterday. You had your bright and shiny new IKEA toy to look at, and your sister was around and she's always a load of laughs, and you did nurse twice in those three hours, so that killed some time.

No, the problems started at midnight last night (this morning) when you decided to use your new skill in the middle of the night when your sister (and the IKEA toy) are fast asleep and your mom would like to be as well. I try to be an entertaining kind of mom. I do fun things, I play, I come up with activities. But I do all of these things during the day. In the middle of the night, I mostly lie in bed.

I mean, I did talk to you and nurse you several times, and I tried to sound a lot less grumpy than I felt... you are still super cute, even at one in the morning, but by 3AM, when you did finally go to sleep, I was thinking back fondly on the many, many nights we have shared together in which, aside from the couple of nursing sessions, we both slept most of the night away.

Over the next few months, I am sure that you will acquire all sorts of new abilities, and some of those abilities (like "stay awake longer") will infringe on my sleep. So, while I might look forward to the time when you take "sleep through the night" or even just "distinguishing between days and nights" as new skills, I am endeavoring to enjoy our time together no matter what.

Because, of course, the final goal of all of this leveling up you have already started on is becoming a grown-up yourself, and when that happens, I will look back and miss the time when you were a brand new baby who had just learned how to stay awake, even in the middle of the night.

Love,
Mom